Here’s what caught our attention and why it might change how you think about what really makes a relationship work.
Give each other room to miss one another
Bretman Rock might be all charisma and energy, but they’re crystal clear on the value of breathing space in a relationship. Talking about the realities of dating while juggling an “island-life pace” and an influencer schedule, Bretman spelled it out: “We do, like, miss each other. That’s why I always say to people with, like, relationships, especially when they’re together all the time—you guys gotta give time to miss each other. Because if you’re always together, you kinda just get sick.” Distance, in other words, isn’t the enemy of intimacy; it’s the oxygen that keeps it alive. Whether your partner lives across town or shares your couch, build in deliberate time apart—separate hobbies, solo weekends, even an evening spent in different corners of the same apartment. You’ll trade monotony for anticipation and see one another with fresher eyes. The next hug or “how was your day?” lands harder when it isn’t guaranteed on the hour.
Apply—don’t game—the 90-10 rule
Meanwhile, over on We Met At Acme, Lindsey Metselaar revisited her signature formula: 90 percent security, 10 percent healthy insecurity. “It’s the 10 percent that keeps you honest, humble, and growing,” she explains. That “insecurity” isn’t manufactured drama or playing hard to get; it’s the natural edge that comes from having a life outside the couple bubble. Lindsey’s first instruction is refreshingly concrete, and echoes Bretman’s advice: “Number one, have your own life outside of them—career, friendships, passions, plans that don’t involve him or her…just living your life, you know, girls’ trips, girls’ dinners, coworker hangs, whatever it is.” She’s blunt about the payoff: self-worth stays intact, attraction stays alive, and no one mistakes comfort for complacency. Start small. Commit to that language class you keep postponing, or protect a recurring friend night that doesn’t get bumped for date night. When each partner shows up fulfilled, the relationship can offer generosity instead of neediness. 90 percent calm plus 10 percent spark: a ratio worth defending.
Put down the phone—literally and figuratively
Anyone who’s ever hovered over a partner’s lock screen knows the stomach drop that follows. The Bad Broadcast host Madi Murphy confronted the urge head-on: “I snoop. I do. I think that a healthy level is normal. Do I think you need to be monitoring everything that your husband says? No.” Murphy’s stance is nuanced: Curiosity is human, but constant surveillance erodes trust, and a defensive meltdown when caught is the actual red flag. As she put it, “If you tell a guy that you snooped, and his reaction is crazy defensive, that’s when I would have alarm bells going.” The grown-up alternative is discomfort in daylight. Feel suspicious? Say so. Explain the insecurity instead of scanning their notifications at 2 a.m. If a peek has already happened, own it and discuss what drove you there. Transparency might sting, yet it strengthens the relationship more than silent policing ever will. And if you need to deploy more surveillance on your partner than the Department of Corrections has on Rikers’ Island, you need therapy, not a relationship—and you don’t need to be together.
Relationship advice: the TL;DR
None of this is rocket science, but it’s harder to do than it sounds: The thing about good relationship advice is that there’s no hack, no secret trick. It’s the work of staying yourself while building something with someone else. Do that consistently, and your relationships—romantic or otherwise—will gain resilience, respect, and a pulse that lasts longer than any fling or phone battery.
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